Flash drives. What are they? To quote a friend of mine, they're little nuggets of sheer awesomeness. Did you hear that Charlie Sheen is bi-winning, well flash drives are tri-winning, nay, quad-winning. That's right, flash drives are the most awesome things ever. They make me a true modern day mobster, trading information and just being all around awesome. I make a great con man, and almost everyone owes me a favor. On an unrelated tangent, picture this: Blackbeard (a pirate ninja) riding a battle ostrich, through a battlefield, killing indiscriminately. Those terrorists are fucked now. Now some facts about ostriches: 1. They can exceed 70 MPH 2. Their kick can break a lion's jaw,causing the lion to starve. 3. They sometimes will be seen running across the desert, full speed, with nothing behind them because they forgot to look behind them to see if they were still being chased. 4. They have small brains.
On another tangent, I am an awesome waiter! I don't know how the quiet kid who suffers from OCD and severe anxiety managed to actually talk to strangers, but they seemed to like me. And one of the guys at the table I was waiting had an amazing beard. Another had the 5th greatest mustache ever. The list goes: 1. STALIIIIIIN! 4. Tom Selleck 3.http://verydemotivational.memebase.com/2010/10/22/demotivational-posters-holy-crap-3/ this guy  4. Mr. W 5. The guy at my table. I made $100 that night. And flash drives are still the coolest things ever. See how I brought everything together again, that's how talented I am.
 


HalfDome
11/20/2011 00:12

Oh, WIN!, how I love thee :L

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